So, I'm in the midst of trying to find a semi-inexpensive way to turn my last two years of blog posts into a book. So far, nothing solid.
Going through old posts has brought forth tons of emotion. I literally feel like Kaiden's baby/toddlerhood is all of a sudden being yanked from my death grip. I'm trying to hold on so tight and the universe is not budging. Along with tearing up as I type, I cried on the way home last night. I'm overwhelmed with joy and sadness. I feel like the moments are passing by too quickly and I can't keep up. How do I capture in photos and words how much this boy means to me? I'm convinced it can't be done and I feel defeated.
Along with that, I'm ready to move. Where we are right now is just not home. We have two places that make sense to move: back to Va Beach (the common ground) or to KS, closer to Kev's family. I've imagined our lives in both places and can come up with good and bad for both. I made a pros and cons list and Va Beach won, but the pros on the KS side were heavy (more home for your money and better schools) were just two on that side, and those are pretty big deals, ya know? I feel like it's all on my shoulders to make the absolute right decision and that it will ultimately define who Kaiden grows up to be. I know, I'm a bit dramatic, but it's true. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.
So for now, I'm choosing to focus on something smaller, that doesn't make me want to throw up. His books. I want to do one of his first year too (before the blog) but lost all my email updates from that time. =( Anyone still have those? Please please please please!! I'm pretty much obsessed with doing this right now and have started making layouts. I want something I can customize and make my own. I just need to soak up the last (almost) 3 years like.right.now!
I'm clinging. He's growing. My tears are streamin'. If I'm gone for awhile, now you'll know why.
Ahhhh, at least he still likes to snuggle! =)
2 comments:
Looking back at the 'remember whens' does pull at the heartstrings. Just remember - each day will have an abundance of new moments that you can enjoy and cherish.
I've sent you some of the early updates and will look for more.
Keep smiling
Love you,
I finally know how you feel. It did take me to have a child to get that feeling of "whoa, time is flying by." On the bright side, the memories you have shared with us means these are moments you've created. You will always have them forever and always. You'll also have plenty of people to remind you of these beautiful moments while you are creating the new ones.
Love you!
P.S. - I will be STOKED if we are both living in the same place again. I will finally get to SEE my nephew grow up. Oh yea, I gotta get back there too.
Post a Comment