Hello 60 degrees in December & my New Years Resolution.

Yup you read right, it was in the 60's here yesterday!! The wind was craaaazy, but still. SIXTY DEGREES!!! I felt the overwhelming need to make the day count. Not let it slip through my fingers as I seem to do with a lot of other things lately. With this overwhelming need, came the pressure. Pressure to get things moving and think of an activity that was low cost (hello, xmas was just last week), but high impact. The ground was still wet from the day prior, so park, playing in our mess of a backyard or anything along those lines were out. Then I thought of the zoo and it turned out Kev had a free ticket that expired at the end of the year. Perfect.

Oh so I thought.

See, when I turn up the heat and feel the need to make the best, most perfect day ever, I fail. It never fails, but I always seem to. Kaiden is used to a laid back mama and when I get all get up! move it! you don't need that! eat that! do this and that and this again! on him, he loses it too. I lose my patience and he loses all ability to do anything I ask of him.

Yesterday morning I lost my cool and tried to make up for it at the zoo. By the time we got there, he didn't even want to be there. I was determined to make the best of it though.. for him. And he kept it truckin'.. for me. This is our day according to our conversation about it this morning:

Me: Did we go to the zoo yesterday?

Him: yes!

Me: What did you see?

Him: Panda Bear! Like panda panda (kung fu panda)! He was swimming and went like this (making flip like motions). Ha ha. He's funny!

Me: Oooh! You mean a polar bear. Yes, he was funny and was swimming and doing flips!!

Him: Yeah, polar bear.

Me: What else?

Him: Uhhh...

Me: Did you see a lion?

Him: Yeah! He was brown and big and his eyes were open. Not closed. And he went rraaarrrrr and scared me!!

Me: Oh, did you see him on a sign or in real life?

Him: Real life.

(Africa was closed, so he only saw the Lion on a sign and those signs really made an impression..lol)

Me: What else?

Him: Sea Lion! He was swimming!! And peacocks, I no like peacocks. They in they casa. And flamingos on the fench.

Me: Yup! And did you see elephants?

Him: Yeah! Strong like dada! (we never talked about how they were strong prior =)

Me: How do they eat?

Him: Tunks!! (then he put his nose to the couch to pretend he was eating)

Me: Very good! Yummyummyumyum. Did you see monkeys?

Him: Yeah. (with a scared look on his face)

Me: Was he really close to you?

Him: Yeah. He scare me!!

Me: But he had funny toes, huh?

Him: Yeah!!!

(This monkey was awesome! He had his feet on the glass and arms hanging from a branch. When we walked up, he inched over to right in front of our faces. He just stared right into my eyes. 2.5 seconds later Kaiden was jumping out of my arms. LOL. He was not a fan of being that close to the monkey. Oops!)

When I pulled out my camera to take a pic, he jumped away and that when I realized I didn't have a memory card in the camera. Drats!!

Me: Did you see frogs and deer?

Him: Yeah, frogs are blue! Mama fed the deer. They scared me!!

(everything after the monkey scared him and that was everything besides the polar bear =)

Me: Did you go down a really big slide?

Him: Yeah!!!!!!! With odder kids and a lady picked me up. Gotta go on your bottom!!!

This story is really cute. There's this two story slide in the Discovery Barn and he saw all the older kids going down it. He wanted to go, but with me. I told him I was too big and he'd have to go by himself. So we get up there and he backs out. Then we go outside to talk about it and he says he still wants to go down. I talk him through it and he said he was ready to go by himself. So we get up to the front again and he bails. Then we take a moment to watch the other kids and he said he was ready again. This time, he did it!! I tried to run down the stairs as fast as possible. I'm almost down when I hear his cry. I was praying he wasn't stuck in the slide. Uhh..I get down there and this lady is picking him up. I asked what happened and she said he came down head first (there is padding at the bottom thank goodness). Crap! I scooped him up and cuddled him for a bit. He was traumatized. Umm, yeah, that backfired. He must have turned around somehow in the slide. I took him outside and said over and over how proud of him I was and that sometimes you get hurt, but not to be afraid to try again. He said ok and we left. He passed out on the car ride home. (I think the "go down on your bottom" part came from the lady that picked him up...one, I didn't say it and two, I don't say bottom =)

The moral of this whole post is that I lose my patience. I'm not a perfect mother. I want to be better and I want to find the balance of making it count and enjoying the small things. Kaiden and I are at our best when we are just in the moment together. When he has my full attention and when I'm relaxed. I have dedicated my time and efforts to be the mother I want to be. I don't always succeed, but for the most part, I think I'm doing pretty good. My New Years resolution is to be more confident in the mother that I am. To find the balance. To treat him how I always wanted to be treated as a kid. And most of all, be patient. He has given me something to finally be proud of - being his mama. I hope I don't disappoint!

Happy New Years Eve, friends. Here's to finding the balance in 2011!! Love you!