Daycare & Sick Updates.

I think Kaiden finally broke his fever YESTERDAY! Poor kiddo. He was feverish and lethargic all weekend. The weather was rainy and cold, so it was a good excuse to cuddle and watch movies.

When we asked him yesterday if he was excited to go back to school, he said "NO!" and whimpered a bit.

Ugggh.

This morning he immediately asked for mama snuggles and when I told him he had to get dressed for school first, he cried and his tummy started making crazy noises. I calmed him down, got him dressed and we snuggled. When Kevin came in to put on his shoes, he lost it again. I just wiped his tears, told him it would be ok and that he was going to have fun. He whimpered "Kaiden play?" and I said "yes honey, you're going to play and have fun and dada will pick you up after work." And with that, an amazing thing happened. He calmed himself down, let me put on his jacket, gathered up his food, gave his mama a kiss and was ready to go!

Wow! My little guy is growing up. =) It was such a proud mama moment. It truly melted my heart.

Kevin said he did good on the drive there, but lost it again when they got inside. Kevin just called them for an update and they said he hasn't eaten much lunch, but is drinking his milk. They said he was still a little unsure, but did sit down and color with his teacher.

My stomach hurts.

The emotional pain that you have for your child when you know he is going through tough times is unexplainable. It takes over my whole body. I just want to quit my job, run to the daycare, scoop him up and tell him I will never leave him again.

But, that probably wouldn't be good for any of us. Especially him.

So, now, I sit here thinking the worse and just wanting to vent because I hate this. I really hate this! Everything about leaving your screaming 2 year old with a complete stranger just feels so wrong. I just can't imagine what must be going on in his head. Kevin tells me to give it time. The teachers tell me the same. Everyone does. So, with that, I am. But it sucks.

The grass looks so much greener on the other side. You know, the stay-at-home-mama side. I'm trying to be grateful for all the small things as well as look at the bigger picture and can only hope I am making the right decisions for him.

I can be sure of one thing though, my kid rocks! I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that I will continue to try to do the best things for him. Or what I think is best. I will love him unconditionally and make sure he always knows how much I love him. The rest, I can only hope will fall into place as it should.

This was taken on one of his few trips out since Thursday. We were taking Jo to work. Fever, pjs, sunglasses and a smile. The boy knows how to light up my life!!!!!